Saturday, April 10, 2010

Death of my Nephew

My 35 year-old nephew passed away yesterday. It was completely by surprise and has devastated my sister. She sent me an email message the subject "Really sad news." Before I opened the message, thought that she was going to tell me that her nephew's wedding was cancelled.

Her nephew was going to be married in Las Vegas. My sister planned to attend and following the wedding come up to Reno to visit another sister. I was looking forward to joining my sisters in Reno and planned to take the train from the Bay Area to Reno. There would be lots of snow in the Sierra Nevada mountains and the scenery should be really spectacular in May.

As our mother would say, "Oh Poo!" But when I opened the message and read it, the air went out of my chest. I could not believe the words that she sent. 

Hi Lanaii,  your phone number is in my office and we tried to get your number from directory assistance.  I will try to call you later this evening.  I don't have the words but Collin died suddenly at 2:30 AM this morning from a heart attack.  It's not real yet for me, it's a very bad dream.  No prior indication or as the coroner said, he probably passed it off as muscle strain, flu whatever because his heart did show a previous heart attack.  He also said Collin's sibling should have their cardio systems checked out.  This is so hard.  I have never hurt so bad.  Love Shari
I was in shock! I called my sister in Nevada but got her voicemail. I left a message. I called cousins but got voicemail or an answering machine. I did not leave messages because I did not want to talk to a machine.

I watched my mother go through a similar event. I never thought that I'd be seeing it happen again. Shari is the only one of my sisters that looks exactly like my mother. Her son Collin resembled my brother Craig. Both died as a result of heart attack at a young age. Collin was talking about marriage. Craig was to be married a week later.

 I am in tears as I write this. Mothers don't expect to outlive their adult children. This is not the case for my mother and my sister.

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